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About Ponce

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little spot on Calle San Antonio. You know the one? The barista there, she’s got the best smile. Anyway, I’m chuggin’ my coffee, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Famous last words, right?

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